BALENCIAGA 5 TOE HEEL SNEAKERS: A HORROR UNVEILED

Did you ever find your toes getting jam-packed with each other and need to be separated? Did you ever feel sometimes, one of your toes needed to get some personal space away from the rest of your toes? No? Well, no one gives a damn. I present before you The Balenciaga X Vibram's Five Toe Heel Sneakers; cause they were so not the last thing we needed in this world

I don't know what I find more disturbing, the fact that my life has reached a point where I spent half a day trying to spell the name of a shoe company right, or the fact that these shoes have 5 toes. Either way, these 5 toe - shoes are a feet fetish person's worst nightmare. I mean, just because it is Balenciaga and it costs 1300$ doesn't make it interesting or cool. Maybe some might try to find a spark of hidden art in these, but come on guys, has the world really come to a point where we end up looking for the hidden art behind a five-toed shoe?

I mean, even if they were a teeny tiny bit comfortable, the fact that they are fugly could have been excused. But from what I have heard, all you feel is more than the usual amount of fabric in between your toes. And Oh! A high probability of getting your toes lost in them. Now, that's all I can say about comfort. Because I have to actually wear them to feel them, which is a big no-no from the part of my non-existent bank account. But by the time I am able to afford them, either the world will come to an end, or worse, Balenciaga gets creative. But the fact that they make our toes look like small Apollo tyres can be taken advantage of, to tread over your worst enemy. But that's all you can expect out of these low-budget Black Panther pairs.

But maybe, we can make our mammal friends proud and normalize them. One day, we might even view them as shoes rather than an abomination; just the way we started viewing chokers as more than just dog collars.

But I really hope I don't live to see a day when I look down a crowded street and see everyone wearing these.

Now allow me to just sit in a corner and dread over what I just pictured.